Our family's first synthetic Christmas tree

It's the second day of my vacation in the hometown. I could not contain my happiness when I arrived home yesterday for my Tatay's birthday. He was waiting on the sala when I entered the house. He hugged me tight and I tip-toed so I can kiss his cheek. It will be a happy and fun 5-day stay.

I looked around the house and I smiled seeing the changes. It was last June when they started renovating. I have been away for 5 months while saving for the construction. My Tatay saw the grin on my face and asked me to enter the newly furnished room. I can see how proud he is knowing that he closely supervised the construction. He has been keeping a sketch of his dream house since I was a child and it is our aspiration to have it realized.

Completion is still at 40%. Excited as he is, Tatay asked me to check their room. I pulled the door sideways. He chose to have a glass door for the room. I have seen the structures in pictures but I am still all smiles when I see a couch on the left side and their bed on the right side near the aircon. A small ceiling fan is also installed and in between the couch and bed, a stand fan is in place. I am so pleased with the floor tiles they have selected and the paint color (soft green) of the walls and ceiling is eye-friendly. The glass doors are not tinted so Nanay placed a pretty yellow green curtain with wild grass/flower designs on it.

I stood on the sala area and from there I can see the second floor above the room. The space is envisioned to be a rooftop terrace and the leftmost side area will have one room to be constructed. 60% more to go and so much more saving to do. I strongly believe we will achieve our dream house.

Christmas is fast approaching and I do not see any holiday decors around the house. My childhood was fun especially during the holiday season because my Nanay is so artistic when creating our Christmas tree. She would rather create it from used papers, Bakhawan branches, yarns and other art materials. One time, she used a bamboo pole then made holes on it and inserted sticks from coconut leaves to serve as branches.  I recall that she will mix water with food coloring and pour the colored water on an ice candy bag. Those little plastic bags will hang on the from the makeshift Christmas tree branches - yellow, orange, green and others. They will reflect the lights from the christmas lights.  

We have not installed a Christmas tree for a very long time. This year, we decided to buy our first synthetic Christmas tree from store. I want my Nanay to relax rather than going to the nearest pond and look for Bakhawan tree or ask/buy for newspapers from sari sari stores. We bought glittery stars, artsy christmas balls, santa claus stuffed toys, little drums, colorful garlands and golden bells as well as Christmas lights.

For the new room, I placed a Merry Christmas sign hanging from the roof top. I attached silver balls and angel figures on it with strings made of small silver balls. I can't explain how I feel when I am putting up the pieces of the Christmas tree with my sister and a little girl from the neigborhood. Childhood memories were flashing back and it felt really heart-warming.

To complete the Christmas tree, I hoopped around it the colorful lights with small-size bulbs. My Nanay helped in switching it on. We heard a motorcycle coming so we hustle. When my Tatay finally entered the house, we light up the Christmas tree. He smiled sweetly and his eyes sparkle. I am really home. So happy!

Love,
Antonia 

(My big brother died last November 2011 and we are still grieving until this time. I am not sure when the pain will disappear - I think it will stay forever. This is the reason why we could not put up Christmas decors or celebrate all out during the yuletide season.)

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UPDATE: Suspected part of an insect on my left eye!

I was in a movie house with my friends when I started to feel weird again on my left eye. Halfway the movie (Fantastic Beasts and where to find them), I decided wear glasses. I reached out for my bag, which was placed on the floor, to fish out my eyeglasses without taking my sight off of the screen. I remember I stopped applying the prescribed eye drops five days ago, just in time when the redness disappeared. I really thought my eye is totally healed after the sclera (white part of the eye) cleared out. I felt something moving on the lid and it seems pointed. I continued to enjoy the movie though I am still bothered by my left eye.

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Living alone and away from home: How to survive sickness (colds, cough, fever, fatigue)?

Monday - 4:00AM and he was ready to leave. I hugged him tight and kissed him goodbye. It's time for him to go back to Negros for work and I am left here in Manila. He turned his back and started to roll his duffle bag. I followed him out and stayed on the doorway. He waved his free hand before he turned right to a corridor and I lost sight of him. My heart was crumpled. I thought I was going to cry. I am dreading this scene every time we need to part ways. One of the sad scenes that one needs to endure in any long distance relationship.

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JEEPNEY STORY: flying insect bumped my left eye

'Day Weng, duty ka today? Daan sana ako parlor for waxing/threading', I texted a friend who used to do my much-needed beauty must-have.

It's a Wednesday - 10:00AM already and I am in a jeepney on my way home from work.  Same daily routine but what makes it special for this week is that I will be seeing my beau on Friday after four months of being away from each other.

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JEEPNEY STORY: not-so-friendly Manong Driver

It has been a productive week after completing a 'brain-cell stirring' five-day training on a promising new product/field to support. It is already 9:00am and I am done with last minute sweep on my To-do list so I grabbed my jacket and fixed my things. I was smiling while I leave the training room - At last, it's weekend!

Same routine - I hopped in a jeepney and this time there was no queue of passengers waiting since it's Saturday. I have a blissful feeling and though quite exhausted, I know my eyes are sparkling for I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Gradually, passengers filled in the vehicle and we are up to leave.

I was intently observing the people around me - there were lovers giggling in the other side, the elderly beside me is quite shaking when he raised his hands to hold onto the horizontal bars and the lady on my right side was dozing off. I draw a half-smile thinking that I have been dwelling in a place which is far away from home and all of these people are strangers to me.

It has been my habit to buy buko juice so I need to drop by near 7-eleven. 'Para po!', I said in loud voice. The jeepney did not stop so I exclaimed louder but still cheerful, 'Sa tabi lang po!'. The driver did not mind me. Some of the passengers are also telling the driver to stop. The guy beside the driver poked him in the shoulders so the jeepney slowed down. The guy pointed a blue-colored headset attached to the driver's ears. I realized he was listening to something so he did not notice. I was still smiling that time - I was just so happy and I was not irritated easily.

BUT then after a moment, I can feel my face's expression turned to something 'sour' when the driver exclaimed, 'Alam mo namang intersection to, sana bumaba ka na kanina nung may mga bumaba.' In my mind, I can see myself turning red with gush of steam going out from both ears and executing karate moves!!

I kept calm and subconsciously said 'Okay'. I think that changed my cheerful facial expression to a sad, disappointed one. When I finally got out of the vehicle, I was still bothered by how the driver treated me. I have the following unspoken: 

• Why would I join those three passengers in getting out? That was 2 blocks away! We were in the middle of traffic and there were cars following the jeepney (bumper to bumper). I find that dangerous!
• Though I really don't mind if I have to walk, I am just comfortable to land right after the pedestrian lane (few meters away) where I feel safe. Coincidentally, it is in front of 7-eleven.
• I really want manong drivers to be cheerful while they are driving but I don't think it is advisable to wear headsets and listen to music or whatever that would somehow impair their senses to the requests of the passengers or other external forces along the way.

For many, the scene may be normal. I actually think right now that I am just Over-Reacting. What do you think? I just wish all of us can say our thoughts in a nice way possible. If I were him, I can say: 'Pacensya po, intersection kasi yun. Saglit lang po, dun nalang sa tabi.' Is this impossible for our manong drivers to say? I don't think so. I still believe there are several drivers who are courteous and kind.

Well, I may be judging him right now for treating one of his customers badly. I then realized that it is true - words are so powerful - these can affect someone's mood or alter a state of mind. In my case, the effects were somehow temporary (30 minutes). Hahaha! when I got out of the jeepney, I still managed to say 'Hi' to the buko vendor and cheefully greeted Nanay Linda when I dropped by my suking tindahan to buy lunch.

I have been working in a field where I uphold quality customer service on top of my priorities. I put passion and dedication in everything that I do especially when dealing with people. Before joining the company, I was not so sensitive in situation when unsatisfactory service is observed. Day after day, I realize the value of saying the right words and how to put stress and emotions on them. Your words can make someone's burden lighter, temporarily ease their worries and can somehow brigten up a gloomy day.

We just have to choose the right words and say them right. I am positive that when that happen, there would be one less unhappy person in the world.

Keep Smiling!

Antonia

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'Friendship Over' without prior notice. Sad.

This is a story of Amara and her former close friend Lucas.

Amara was new to her job when this happened. Her new workplace exuded good vibes - friendly new faces, supportive bosses and harmonious relationships among co-workers. Though most of the trainees were friendly, Amara was still hesitant to make friends.

After several weeks of training, she started to open up to 'strangers' and turned three of them into close friends. They are JJ, Lucas and Elize. JJ is the cheerful one and he loves Anime and he even join cosplay events. Elize stands out in the group- she is pretty and charming. Lucas is a shy-type guy but a good listener and easy to get along with.

The four of them used to spend break/lunch time together. They had a group chat in facebook where they crack jokes, make fun of each other and plan their weekend getaways. Amara realized that it is more fun to have close friends even in the office. Though work is not so easy, their friendship made her feel that tasks are lighter and inspired her more to go to work every weekday morning.

Every time spent with three of her friends brighten up her day - fun, full of laughter and giggles. They were really enjoying each other's company despite their individual differences and personal problems.

One day, Amara noticed that Elize is no longer joining them during lunch/break time. She learned that Lucas was courting Elize and that the girl turned him down. Everything got awkward with Lucas and Elize. A lot of things changed between them.

Nonetheless, Amara and Lucas remained close friends. Since JJ was well-occupied with work and cosplaying, the two were left behind. They started to form a bond. They continued to spend coffee-time together and share experiences at work. They keep each other updated and they truly cared for one another. Their officemates used to tease them for they can be lovers but Amara knew that theirs is pure friendship - no more, no less. Elize still greets them but she is spending more time with her boyfriend.

Months went by, Amara and Lucas continued to share the friendship with JJ catching up when he is not busy. Amara cherished the bond so much that she treats Lucas like a brother. It's like they can't live without each other in the office. Despite busy schedules, they find time to check through chat or text messages. Even in facebook chats, they still made each other's day lighter.

Suddenly, Lucas changed when he started to court Tanya and they became lovers. He started to act weird. Messages were shorter and pings were no longer frequent. Their funny conversations were turned to nods and cold treatment. When their paths crossed in the lobby, Lucas will look down and Amara will  still greet him to get his attention. This continued for weeks. Amara realized that they have become distant. Perhaps because he just have to focus on Tanya? No. No. Amara knew that Tanya will not be jealous of their friendship. Lucas did not say anything to let Amara know why he acted that way.

'How are you, Lucas? I missed the group. I hope we can catch up!', Amara sent a chat message. She saw Lucas was typing a message then nothing happened, no replies. Minutes, hours passed - she was on seen zone.

This sad situation happened like a blink of an eye. Their friendship was like a colorful bubble formed by a happy kid and just disappeared in the air. Nothing left but memories of laughter, corny jokes and funny stories.

Amara is now hesitant to reach out to Lucas. She still connects with JJ and Elize sometimes. Everything has changed and it hurts.

---------------------------------------------------

We all have our stories of friendships. Some of us are now separated by distance or work schedules or lifestyle changes. However, we do our best to make time and catch up, if possible. There are friendships broken due to harsh words and situations. Most remained silently despite years of being apart and when reunited, it seems nothing has changed. Others ended with no reason at all. It just happened. Sad, but we are yet to know why.

Your friend,

Antonia

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